It is becoming increasingly apparent to me that I am one lucky girl.
I sometimes wonder if everyone possesses a pre-determined amount of good fortune because if so, I have definitely used up a fair bit of it in these past 18 years. I see people going through personal tragedies, poverty, dealing the with effects of natural disasters, or addiction and I wonder why it is not me in their place.
I guess you could say that I believe in karma to a certain extent, a fairly low extent but there is some belief nonetheless, and looking back on my life I don’t really think I deserve all the good things I am blessed with. I haven’t done anything BAD persay, I try to be a nice, helpful, and honest person in general, but I haven’t done anything spectacular either and there are times when I am a down right brat.
Life isn't fair. It's a statement that is often uttered, but the absolute truth of it is usually overlooked.
Why should I have four parents, while some have none? Why should I have so much love and happiness in my life, while some are stuck in such hateful situations? It’s scary sometimes to see all the horrible things happening all around us–the oil spill, the haitian earthquakes, the murders occuring on a daily basis, cancer, I could go on and on.–and realize that I have never even had a pet die.
I feel sometimes like I am waiting almost, for something horrible to come to happen to me, it seems like only a matter of time. I have four parents, ten grandparents (all alive and healthy), two fantastic homes, three adorable pets, an amazing set of friends, a cute boy, and great opportunities awaiting me for my future. There is a lot at stake, and I selfishly don’t want to give any of it up.
Okay, that is all kind of heavy stuff I realize. Now I have a SUPER morbid feeling about everything and I am scared to get out of the chair in case I trip down the stairs and get paralyzed or something horrific. The reason that I am thinking about this was because last night my friend and I attended a candle lighting ceremony for a girl on my cheerleading team’s dad. I didn’t have much appetite before, considering the circumstances, but we had plans to go out with the girls after so I figured I probably should.
Enacted some BFD (breakfast for dinner)
Anyways, the ceremony was beautiful and though he passed away too early, as did her mother, I know that one thing that often surprises me is people’s compassion and generosity in times of need.
On a different note, I woke up at precisely 9 am to our cleaning lady coming in the door so despite not getting home until 2 I dragged myself out of bed and made my first green monster! I have heard nothing but good things about these babies for months, but our blender is slightly wacko so I never endeavored to try it. I had a massive headache and was totally tired out so…
-handful frozen spinach
-half a frozen banana
-some almond milk
-one scoop chocolate protein powder
Solid food was just not going to do it for me this morning so I had a trio of beverages while I shot out some emails about a potential article.
I felt super energized and great after drinking the monster of goodness, but I’m not sure which of the components of breakfast did it for me because there WAS a caffeinated portion of the meal. I’ll go ahead and say it was the green monster though…
…CLEARLY I hated it ;)
After working for a bit, I headed out to the gym because my mom is canceling our membership in July so I only have ten more days of having access. I’m really glad that she is finally doing this because our membership is EXTREMELY expensive and neither one of us ever goes to the gym..she plays tennis and runs with the dog and I run outside and hike and do yoga. BUT the next ten or so days I shall be a gym rat!
Now I am off to lunch with the dadster. I am just SO grateful that I am able to spend time with him, and that he able to be there for me!