Tag Archives: christmas

jingle

A fair amount of things make me uncomfortable.

It comes with the territory of being a socially awkward human being I suppose. I highly dislike talking on the phone, being in the vicinity of a needle, being in pictures, and eating mayonnaise.All of which is relatively normal, in my opinion, but I think what makes me most uncomfortable is taking complements and or gifts.

I’m not sure why, but when someone says something nice about me or does something nice for me I just feel really uncomfortable. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the giver’s generosity, but for some reason I just don’t feel like I deserve it and I just feel guilty that someone would do something for me.

Maybe this is why I don’t like Christmas as much as other holidays.

“WHAT?!” you might be thinking in a concerned tone right about now, “How could someone NOT like CHRISTMAS?!”

all horrors aside, I really do have some logical reasoning behind my semi-grudge against Christmas.

‘Tis the season to be overrated.

1) It excuses supreme tackiness. I mean, honestly reindeer horns on your car.

Seriously? Excuse me while I puke a little.

2) People begin to equate their affection for one another with material items. At Thanksgiving people only give each other company and thanks–over food–what more do you need?

3) Petty arguments involving religion are annoying and more predominant around the holidays. Kind of ironic to say the least, but even that doesn’t make it acceptable.

The funny thing to me is that the people who tend to take the ‘religious’ stance on the issue seem to think that participating in the capitalist enterprise that is America, spoiling their kids with goodies from Toys R US and cartoons, somehow celebrates Jesus’ birth? It is just ludicrous to me.

CLick this for more on that. Can’t we just all get along?

4) My neighbors put up THE most annoyingly garish display of lights that shines directly into my window and makes it seem like daylight at three in the morning.

I like lights and all, but is a ten foot star hanging off your balcony really necessary? Obviously they don’t mind because they don’t have to look at it. Or the field of bushes covered in lights either.

5) I just really hate Christmas music. Not all of it, but the majority definately and you cannot escape it anywhere you go. It’s on in coffee shops, the mall, the radio, your house, it’s like a musical stalker.

If I hear jingle bells one more time, I will punch an elf.

6) Tsk, Tsk Target. You are an enabler. Now, you can pay 349.99 for a lovely seven and a half foot spiky grape to represent the holiday!

Not hip enough for you? No worries, Target has got you covered.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder, this happened:

8) I do enjoy Christmas day, and ultimately I do enjoy everything that goes along with it but it just seems a little silly for adults without children to partake in it. We all spend so much money buying each other gifts…wouldn’t it make more sense to not do that, take that money, and buy whatever we want for ourselves and then spend the day with family and friends?

 

I rest my case.

Besides, we all know the day after is the best anyways ;)

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alien

It’s beginning to look a lot like…September really but seeing as we are at t-minus 11 days, 18 hours, and 19 mins until Santa slips down the world’s chimneys we can just go ahead and finish the above sentence with the anticipated answer.

This time calls for gift crafting, tea drinking, and christmas picture taking. How many takes before we find one where we all look normal? Only time will tell, quite possibly never.

I could literally win an award for awkward picture taking. Someone whips out a camera, I become a stiff alien unable to smile. It is a terrible condition.

BLAH, okay.


most boring  family ever


fake smiles..we really don’t want to be doing this.

theeere we go. i realize it is blurry, but it’s not in the real version.

It should come as no surprise that August is the centerpiece of the photo. He wasn’t all that photogenic on this particular night..

hahahahah this gets me everytime. I think this is what I was laughing at in the final photo that we chose.

And his penis is front and center so that is inappropriate for the front of a calendar. I still love him though, god help me.