Monthly Archives: June 2012


It is my third official day in Brazil and I am proud to say that I have picked up four solid phrases (okay, more like words) in Portuguese! Considering I had  a foundation of essentially NOTHING with the language despite my initial grand plans of learning some prior to my departure (before I abandoned the effort because I was overwhelmed and unsure of where to begin) I am proud that I have picked up how to say the following:

Obrigada—Thank you

Tudo bem?—Things are well?

Tudo bom—Things are good


Now, this may seem totally unimpressive to you so I took the liberty of googling words and phrases that I hope to learn and use in conversations with the Brazillian population totally out of context. They seem to be very useful in day to day life..

AH I HAVE DECIDED IT SHALL BE A GAME! Okay, I will write the translation in white, so guess what the word/ phrase means and just highlight it to see the answer..ready?


Pedê …Pedophile

Bundudo…A person with a very large derriere

Puta merda…Holy shit


Cara de melão!…Melon face!

Cabeça de vento…Scatterbrained

Descascar um abaci…literally: to peel a pineapple  meaning: to get stuff done

Tomar um cha de cadeira…literally: to take a chair and drink tea meaning: something taking so long, that you feel the ability to sit in a chair and have a cup of tea

Porque você não pode lava?…Why can’t you flush toilet paper?

Eu sou um Americano estúpido, eu não falo Português… I am a stupid American, I do not speak Portuguese

O que na terra eu estou comendo…What on earth am I eating?

Você vende jujubes?… Do you sell jelly beans?

Eu estou suando em bicas…I am sweating profusely

Privação do sono é divertido!…Sleep deprivation is fun!

Outra caipirinha, por favor!…Another caipirinha please!

Eu tenho sujeira dentro das minhas calças… I have dirt down my pants

I think I should create a booklet for travelers similar to myself, filled with this dynamic compilation of useful phrases (I really did say the dirt in my pants thing today). I will work on it, keep everyone updated! My first publication, without a doubt. 


SIDENOTE: It also would have been helpful for me to know how to say, “Sorry for my weird toenail, I had surgery on it,” during our pedicures the other day..instead I said nothing and the lady was left to wonder how such a seemingly normal looking girl had a mutant toenail.


Listening to Fleetwood Mac with my best friend on a  Brazillian porch immersed in sunshine with a cup of french press coffee in my hand is the moment in which the three days of cancelled flights, no sleep, and multiple meltdowns all become worth it.

As much as I would like to complain about the hectic nature of my journey, I actually am incredibly thankful I had such an interesting and unique experience–mainly because it is hilarious and is a great conversational topic in awkward situations. Also, people totally are more willing to provide favors when you are crying (like hotel rooms and free coffee)…alright I might have milked that one a little bit.

The thing is, as anyone that knows me is unfortunately well aware of, that when I do not sleep enough I transform into this bizarre conglomeration of raging bitch and infantile freak–picture periodic, spontaneous crying spells and feeling true anger at the Dalai Lama for speaking too loud on Piers Morgan while I am trying to cram myself into a horrendously uncomfortable airport chair to sleep.

Actually, that is deserved..what a dick. He needs to keep it down. (kidding! kind of)

Within my 45 hours of travel (19 of which were spent in the Houston Airport..I think, don’t trust my math skills automatically..and by math I of course mean basic counting) 5 cups of coffee were consumed, 2 kindle books purchased, 15 episodes of Arrested Development were watched, and snacks were the only thing pulling me through.

First Amendment of travel–bring snacks! It is absolutely non negotiable. The pretzels and ginger ale provided on the airplane are not sufficient, although I have to say that I am one of those rare people who actually enjoys airplane food..I am more than totally cool with it in fact.

Second Amendment–see above. I cannot reiterate this important tip enough.

I think that what it really comes down to (the moral of this story one might say) is thank goodness I do not live in Houston, or their airport. 


Step one of a successful trip: Look like serial killer in your visa picture.


mission accomplished! 


Happy Wednesday! I have all day to myself today and a million things I want to do, and I have yet to accomplish anything other than breakfast and online perusing. 90 something degree weather will do that to a girl, but I thought I would share some things that have struck my fancy recently..

“looking back over a lifetime, you see that love was the answer to everything.”

 Ray Bradbury.

  •  “the universe is so well balanced that the mere fact that you have a problem also serves as a sign that there is a solution.”

    Steve Maraboli

     Communal dining

    How I Met Your Mother

    All white decor, with colorful art

    “we do not need to go out and find love; rather, we need to be still and let love discover us.”

     John O’Donohue (Anam Cara)

    “with a plan, you only get the best you can imagine. i’d always hoped for something better than that.”

    Chuck Palahniuk



I want to eat this:






Drink this:





Read these..:








  • And I want to make a bookshelf out of wine crates:

    “In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.”

     Abraham Maslow

    This kiddo is just cute:

And I just thought these were funny:


san fran

Long weekend filled with wine, smiles, and sunshine! Through the perspective of my handy little phone, and not in any particular order..



Five things

1) Woke up the other morning and immediately made this soup –entirely appropriate I know. Hey, sometimes a girl just needs some 10 in the 90 degree weather..

regardless it was delicious, the picture was not as pretty as this one though.

2) I am currently re-reading this wonderful book and loving every word (gets me every time)

3) Shortly after my Caturday post, Stanley went missing. We have put up signs around our neighborhood and have checked the pound but are currently crossing our fingers for her safe return. Oliver has set up post next to the cat door and has taken to expressing his grief through incessant meowing at an incredibly high pitch. If nothing else, I hope Stanley returns soon so that my sanity can be preserved (within reason) because he is slowing driving me insane.

4) On another note, can I just go ahead and say what we are all thinking?

Jessica Simpson’s baby is kind of ugly.

Now, I really hate to say that about a baby –but it’s true! This cruel and astute observation of mine comes as a result of my reading of People magazine at work.

The baby article itself is actually quite bizarre, apparently her husband went out and bought a piano when he found out his baby had long fingers. I’m sorry but that seems INCREDIBLY excessive and presumptuous. The longest fingered baby in the universe will not be playing a piano that costs more than my soul until at least 2, why buy at three weeks old?

Ultimately I am nothing but sympathetic for the little girl because she has to grow up with someone who doesn’t know the difference between chicken and tuna as a mother. Goodness gracious, if only she could have been cut some slack. Maybe she will improve! I’m sure she is a really nice baby.


5) All I want in this world is to see the Dictator (okay, and a trampoline..and a pool filled with swedish fish..and to be good at sudoku). JUDGE ALL YOU WANT–it looks hilarious and I will go by myself if I must! I never claimed to have good taste, I still watch Grey’s Anatomy for goodness sake (GA fans–that plane crash WHAT WAS WITH THAT)

Okay, I suppose that is all that has been occupying my mind lately. It’s over now and we all survived, I hope.


The transition into summertime has been a disconcerting one to say the least. Going from a jam-packed schedule that barely provides me time to eat, much less wander aimlessly or watch multiple movies, to an open ended abyss of free time has left me scrambling for things to do. The first few days of freedom were fully appreciated, as I frolicked in the sun and relished sleeping and bopping about. Now, however, restlessness has hit full force and I find myself creating tasks to occupy myself.

That said, reading has taken up most of my time lately, mostly in effort to get out of the house, and I have squandered away countless dollars on caffeinated beverages to fuel the reading frenzy. In constructing my summer reading list, I couldn’t help but notice the piles of books laying around my room–for the most part unfinished ones. I have this horrible habit of reading several books simultaneously, all of them in a perpetual rotation with one another leaving most of them half-finished.

I have decided that before allowing myself to buy any new books (okay, I did buy one on my kindle but excluding that one) I have decided to finish all my other ones. This is a bit awkward when done in a public setting, and quite inconvenient as well, because toting multiple novels around tends to get heavy and probably looks a bit bizarre to anyone seeing me reading several books at a time. Ultimately, this endeavor has been absolutely worth it because now I can return the books to their rightful owners, and it has allowed me to discover the value in the forgotten about novels!

I thought I would share with you some of my favorite passages from my top three favorites of these books:

Just a Couple of Days

Tony Vigorito

Recommended to me by a friend, it is a truly interesting and original premise for a book. Essentially there is a genetic weaponry project in development to create a non-lethal method of destroying enemy territory in wartime, and it gets released “accidentally” to the public. This highly contagious weapon destroys people’s capacity for symbolic comprehension, and the result of its release is not what one might expect. The book is beautifully written with interspersed insights into humanity’s inclinations and society’s idiosyncrasies. It reveals human nature at a fundamental level, and demonstrates a postmodern way of human interaction and understanding and the impact of language in shaping our identity and culture.

“Language is a piss poor attempt at telepathy is what it is. We try to put our thoughts into each other’s heads through language…But half the intended meaning gets lost in the transmission, and the other half is filtered through existing assumptions. Everything is a half truth!”

“That’s the whole problem! You can’t understand me through the smog of your presumptions and prejudices. Multiply that six billion times and you’ll begin to understand the desperation of our global situation”

“The fall of humanity was the fall from the actual to the symbolic. Language abstracts us from the real world; keeping us from direct, intuitive perception. Words, like the ego, are merely guides. Don’t mistake them for the real thing. Pull aside the filthy curtains of the social. Language makes an enigma of simple existence; it obscures the true nature of reality and of your self.”

“Things take care of themselves as long as you trust and don’t try to control too much. Things will happen. Things tend to occur. Why resist what’s inevitable? That’s like swimming against the current, salmon notwithstanding. Go with the flow, you know? Glide with the glow, man. It’s easier.”

Me Talk Pretty One Day

David Sedaris

Though David is a bit overrated in my opinion, this book (particularly in the second half) had me laughing out loud unintentionally. It is a compilation of stories from his life, and reminded me of Augusten Borough’s Possible Side Effects–possibly because they are both sassy, sarcastic, gay men?–which was a favorite of mine in high school. The second half of the novel focuses on his time in Paris learning French, and is cleverly written in English to depict his French interactions, with the grammar that a French person would understand. I could fully appreciate his insights into learning another language, as well as the fourth grade diction that one uses when learning a new language.

this explanation of easter in another language was particularly laugh enducing:

“The italian nanny was attempting to answer the teachers latest question when the moroccan student interrupted, shouting “Excuse me, What is an easter?”

it would seem that despite having grown up in a muslim country, she would have heard it mentioned once or twice, but no. “I mean it,” She said. ” I have no idea what you people are talking about.”

The teacher called upon the rest of us to explain.

The poles led the charge to the best of their ability. It is,” said one, “a party for the little boy of god who call his self jesus and… oh shit.” She faltered and her fellow country man came to her aid.

He call his self Jesus and then he die one day on two… morsels of… lumber.”

The rest of the class jumped in, offering bits of information that would have given the pope an aneurysm.

he die one day and then he go above of my head to live with your father.”

he weared of himself the long hair and after he die. the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples.”

he Nice the jesus.”

he make the good things, and on the easter we be sad because somebody makes him dead today.”

“When shit brings you down, just say ‘fuck it’, and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.”

his observations regarding learning the genders of French were really funny as well:

“I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself. Why refer to lady crack pipe or good sir dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied?”

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Milan Kundera

I am actually still working on this one, but I had to share it because it is absolutely beautiful and I cannot seem to put it down. It is essentially a meditation on love, explored through the telling of two interconnected and simultaneously occurring love stories. It addresses the complexity of the human spirit and connections with those around us, as well as the beauty of love as a whole. It’s one of the books that I want to keep reading, but don’t want to finish.

“The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man’s body.The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?”

“There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, “sketch” is not quite a word, because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture.”

“The greater the ambiguity, the greater the pleasure.”

“A question with no answer is a barrier that cannot be breached. In other words, it is questions with no answers that set the limits of human possibilities, describe the boundaries of human existence. ”

“Einmal ist keinmal, says Tomas to himself. What happens but once, says the German adage, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all.”

My absolute favorite part–and possibly my favorite part of any book, ever, I went ahead and copied and pasted in here. It is about the role of chance in our lives, and all the latent possibilites  that inherently reside within our current life.

anyways, hope everyone else’s summer is going splendidly!