shift

As someone who has experienced very little significant change in her 19 years, I tend to equate the notion of situational modifications with a plague, or bad haircut.

This being said, this past year has thrown me curve balls that have spurred said dreaded change and I have to say that it has resulted in the polar opposite of my previous perceptions regarding..well everything.

Summer begins in one week, and I have to say that I have never been in a better place in my life. Reflecting upon love and everything it encompasses in my honors class has provided me with the capacity to love on such a grand scale. There is so much beauty constantly surrounding us, and I am finally in a position to stop overanalyzing the material value of it and appreciate it presence for what it is–presence.

Here are some thoughts that I jotted down for class in reflection on some readings. Hope you enjoy them, they are just rough draft thoughts so there are indefinately typos–sorry.

The lover only becomes him or herself by being altered, and is only altered by the other, the ultimate guardian or my proper ipseity. Which, without the other, remains inaccessible to me. (Marion 195)

Live is defined by an innate duality: just as we exist insofar as we love (and are loved), we exist insofar as someone can remember our existence and our capability to effect those around us through interaction. An individual residing in isolation for the duration of their life would warrant no impact on the world, conversely would never be truly able to develop into a dynamic person because the outside world would be unable to impact them either. Existing without partaking in any form of relationship will render the individual incapable of a continued existence in another’s memory when their physical life is no longer present.

Those you share your experiences with become the evidence of your occurrence in history, and your influence upon them is absorbed into their character. In an erotic relationship, both parties mutually partake in assuring one another of life’s meaning–both experience the advance, the amorous phenomenon, and exchange of the flesh, etc. Each of these activities serve as the foundation of one’s ability to develop into a person and due to this, the Other is an integral component of the human psychological evolution.

I will not learned my most proper name and identity from what I know of myself, or from what I am or what what I have decided to be, but rather from those I love (or not), and from those who love me (or not) (Marion 195)

Who you are is essentially a culmination of interactions and how they have altered you. You know not to touch a hot stove because either your mother has imparted this piece of wisdom upon you out of love or because you, yourself have placed your hand upon the hot metal and experienced excruciating pain. Either way, you now are aware of the implications of your actions and you integrate that knowledge into the general components of your psyche.

Similarly, you receive yourself from the Other—your identity is gained through the process of partaking in the erotic reduction and everything that it entails. Our personality is essentially a culmination of memory—memories that are dependent upon people who mutually remember the events. Memories are of extremely subjective nature, so multiple witnesses legitimize any occurrence and the resulting alterations to the partakers’ personas remains as evidence.

Who am I? To this question, being has nothing to respond, nor does the being in me. Because I am insofar as I love and someone loves me, only other will be able to answer (Marion 194)

Love transcends the physical world. Love existing between two physical beings remains tangible even when one is no longer bodily present on the planet. The occurrence of the mutual assurance between leaves behind evidence of the individuals’ time spent on the planet, and the memory of the love is carried on through those influenced (or in the case of a child, created) by this arrival from elsewhere. We are the sum of our endeavors—a compilation of relations bound by love.

I will receive myself from the other, just as I am born here (Marion 194)


Each of us becomes the phenomenon of the other, by each becoming flesh through one another (Marion 121)

Lovers provide one what they do not naturally possess through the mutual eroticization of the other’s flesh. Those involved partake in a journey through the other—experiencing them in their most vulnerable state and exchanging pieces of their soul.

This mutual erotic process admits neither limits nor conditions—because it alone assures us our phenomenality as lovers, which implies that the other becomes for me flesh without restriction or exception just as I become it for her too. My flesh does not experience a part but father the totality of the other, and vice versa (Marion 123)

The erotic exchange between lovers is the most unique phenomenon present in humanity because it entails two individuals in a state of vulnerability and absolute trust that does not occur often and should be a powerful experience for those involved. For the amorous phenomenon to be authentic, the lovers must give themselves fully to the other—active passivity, give into their desire without abandon, and the other must do the same and trust you in the same manner. This exchange binds you together in the experience forever.

If she still looks at me, she makes me comprehend that she receives, in this very instant, the ability to distinguish herself from me..she sees in my gaze that I am finally becoming flesh (Marion 124).

The face acts as a window into the processes occurring within. You are aware of your lover’s mutual affected state because there is evidence of it marked within their eyes. An understanding of the lovers bond is recognized and the special. Impersonal attempts at eroticization for the sole purpose of mindless pleasure (baiser) bastardizes the lovers’ interaction because of the lack of cognitive connection.

We commune, but within the distance of our two fleshes..they cross, through the same erotic reduction, in a unique amorous phenomenon—each appearing in the other without intermingling (Marion 124).

Each of us becomes the phenomenon of the other, by each becoming flesh through one another (Marion 121)

Lovers provide one what they do not naturally possess through the mutual eroticization of the other’s flesh. Those involved partake in a journey through the other—experiencing them in their most vulnerable state and exchanging pieces of their soul.

This mutual erotic process admits neither limits nor conditions—because it alone assures us our phenomenality as lovers, which implies that the other becomes for me flesh without restriction or exception just as I become it for her too. My flesh does not experience a part but father the totality of the other, and vice versa (Marion 123)

The erotic exchange between lovers is the most unique phenomenon present in humanity because it entails two individuals in a state of vulnerability and absolute trust that does not occur often and should be a powerful experience for those involved. For the amorous phenomenon to be authentic, the lovers must give themselves fully to the other—active passivity, give into their desire without abandon, and the other must do the same and trust you in the same manner. This exchange binds you together in the experience forever.

If she still looks at me, she makes me comprehend that she receives, in this very instant, the ability to distinguish herself from me..she sees in my gaze that I am finally becoming flesh (Marion 124).

The face acts as a window into the processes occurring within. You are aware of your lover’s mutual affected state because there is evidence of it marked within their eyes. An understanding of the lovers bond is recognized and the special. Impersonal attempts at eroticization for the sole purpose of mindless pleasure (baiser) bastardizes the lovers’ interaction because of the lack of cognitive connection.

We commune, but within the distance of our two fleshes..they cross, through the same erotic reduction, in a unique amorous phenomenon—each appearing in the other without intermingling (Marion 124).


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One response to “shift

  1. From outside it would seem as you have had your share of life changing experiences, a divorce of your parents not least.
    A different take on love is that during evolution the individuals with the strongest impulse to mate would give birth to more offspring than the others with less sex drive. For every generation that would result in even more sexy persons. And here we are having those strong feelings and fulfilling our destiny in nature, but thinking as we are trying to interpret and spin our experience in literary and philosophical terms. That is, of course, wonderful. The all human love story is played out in front of our eyes in the royal wedding that just took place. The basics of that wedding are exactly the same as for other loving couples and that is why it appeals to so many, connecting to their their own memories and promising future bliss for those who have not yet had the experience.
    One thing I have never understood is why eating of this apple in Eden would be forbidden and Adam and Eve committing a sin. One would think the opposite would be more in the spirit of nature and that is our experience when we look around us. Lovers in fact don’t give much thought to such rules that go against nature. Maybe I have missed something.

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