If I could have any superpower I think I would go with the ability to read minds. This would be the case only on the condition that I could control it–I definitely wouldn’t be down with a What Women Want situation.

Often, I find myself thinking about either totally inappropriate or unrelated thoughts–or both–at various times and it makes me wonder what everyone else I encounter is hiding in their noggin.

There is such an infinate amount of subjects available for pondering, some more worthy of thought than others. It has become almost a game for me to purposefully think about things that would potentially offend or weird out the people I am around.

I honed this skill when working at Flying Star because my outlet deaing with the annoying customers  as I took their salad back to the kitchen, passing the line out the door and screaming children dousing the floor with ketchup, for not having enough lettuce. I would honestly just say horrible and petty things about them in my head repeatedly–yeah lady, my smile wasn’t the result of the pure joy I experience from being given the opportunity to serve you.

I was thinking of what you would look like if you slipped on your extra lettuce, flew down the stairs, and landed in the lap of creepy bagel and hummus man.

Or, more likely, something substantially more evil that I feel too ashamed of to replicate in written form.

Long story short, next time you are in class–you have to wonder what your professor is thinking about. Freaky, I know.


3 responses to “cobra

  1. To start with the professors I think, actually I am convinced that they are at least most of them really busy with their lecture or organizing the class there is no space in the brian to devote to thinking a lot about students. Exception for those who argue against what you are saying.
    About reading minds I would be careful with what I wish for. It is probably OK as long as you are young when thoughts may be limited to innocent observations or wishes. But would you really like to know that the person you are sitting next may be thinking: Oh God, do I have to listen to that bore/bitch/self absorbed idiot who is not even good looking. Or when an older person meets another old person: he really is aging and talks all the time about politics/sports/stock market or something equally boring. We are probably better off not knowing too much…

  2. You are hilarious. I think some rather inappropriate and “mean” thoughts during the day, so I’m glad that others can’t always see inside of my head. I’m sure that we might go crazy if we could “hear” everyone’s interior monologues. We are all a bit crazy! Thank you for sharing. I hope you have a lovely afternoon, my friend!

  3. Dude. i remember bagel and hummus man.

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