pounce

Things that frustrate me about driving.

1) Bitter person incessantly tailgating me, a dangerous practice on the freeway might I add, following me across all lanes of i40–you need to grow up and realize that I did not, in fact, pull in front of you on the entrace jus to spite you. In reality,  you were just going a lower speed than me and I needed to get over so I put on my blinker and pulled in front of you.

Grow up, deal with it. We are all going in the same direction at the same general pace so it truly doesn’t matter if someone is temporarily in front of you. Actually you should probably work on being accustomed to it seeing as someone will pretty much always be in front of you somewhere.

2) Please use blinkers! Despite popular belief, I am not a mind reader: I have no idea where you are going or why you are slowing down or if you are planning to turn. They are convinenetly located at your disposal so it is appreciated if you would allow them to fulfill their purpose.

3) Racing to get to a red light is idiotic and gasoline wasteful. If you want to be the first to stop then be my guest, but just realize that you are an idiot. That is all.

4) I don’t care if you drive the same speed as me ALLLLL the way down Tramway ghetto creepster, I will not give you my number and/or be your ‘mamacita’ or ‘mami’. Find someone else to impregnate.

5) Look at me strangely all you want, but I know that you sing along too. Maybe not as rambunctiously as some (cough..me) but you still do nonetheless so just allow me belt out Tom Petty in peace–and enduring minimal embarrassment.

6) LEAD AND COLE. you suck. everyone knows. sucksucksuck.

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2 responses to “pounce

  1. When they look at you strangely…they are only envious that they aren’t embracing life nearly as beautifully as you are!

  2. Don’t be a victim of others’ weirdness. Use the “duck approach” – let it run off or shake it off. MM

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