ouch

Memories were triggered last night serving me to be reminded of all the humiliating things I have done over the years. The flood of recollections pertaining to my various mishaps made me appreciate the person that I have grown to be today. More so though it made me want to further improve because clearly I still need some work. Even as recently as last month I have done things that even if not witnessed by anyone else, I am ashamed of myself for engaging in.

Remembering all the mortifying actions I have subjected myself to throughout my life, even ones that make perfect sense on my part but come across negatively to other people, literally makes me sick to my stomach. I seriously just lost my appetite.

It makes me wonder, truly wonder, if people can forget your embarrassing antics of the past or if thats all they think about every time they see you. I can’t even seem to put my finger on if I personally do so. I couldn’t tell you right now if I eventually forget people’s mistakes or if every time I see that person I judge them, either subconsciously or otherwise.

Clearly we have all made mistakes and are nowhere NEAR being through with doing so. If there were no mistakes, we would not be able to learn or grow from them but seriously…does growing have to be so painful? Couldn’t we instead achieve personal growth and maturity through laughter or eating snickers?

Has anyone ever noticed that a certain word is encased in

EMBARRASSED

I suspect that it is not accidental.

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2 responses to “ouch

  1. Yes…mistakes are painful and embarrassing, but without them we would remain stagnant, boring people. I am trying to be less judgmental of others and myself!

  2. This has plagued my life!!! I still get a sick stomach and red in the face when I think of things I did when I was your age (and later). When I first got on facebook, I was apologizing to every new friend from that era in my life. Everyone said “what are you talking about? all I remember is a fun girl.” Funny how most of those incidents involve alcohol. I was hoping that having a baby would cure me of this in that something way more important would occupy my mind, but I had an embarrassment attack just last night that was triggered by the Three Sheets Mexico episode.

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