I feel as though I have spent my life waiting.
Waiting to begin high school, immediately waiting to graduate, waiting to get to college, then waiting for it to be summer, waiting for the day to be over, and waking up waiting for it to begin again, waiting for people to call you, waiting to start your life, waiting to be happy.
I look forward to things for so long and then when they finally come around I lack the capacity to fully embrace them. I instead waste the opportunity and take everything for granted. It wouldn’t be so bad i suppose if I had something to look forward to.
Now I can see that i’m still waiting, but i just dont know what for anymore.
Today has just progressively gotten worse. I was late to class, had two articles due today that people that I contacted LAST WEEK on Monday are now all falling through on. I am super stressed, have a paper to write and no motivation, and all I want is a hug. And I lost a bet because I have now cried before Friday when I said I could go a week without doing so.